For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
