hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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