I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
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