ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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