lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
