he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
