About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
