What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
