Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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