all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
where are my eyebrows?
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
