gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
