North Korea, Best Korea!
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
