I wannas sexs uuuuu
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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