well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Randomize
