Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
What a dumb baby whore.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
