She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
A bitchslap is in order.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
