So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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