she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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