Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
sex in a hospital.. check
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
