I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
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