so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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