I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
