She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
