and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
