Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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