I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I will be naked everywhere
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
If I die, sorry about rent.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
