Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
