so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Randomize
