"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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