This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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