Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
He shit in the fireplace
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
