At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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