guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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