I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Randomize
