he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Randomize
