Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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