Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(360): View more from Washington

You know you think of me naked too

(210): View more from Texas

Not since I found Jesus

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(714): View more from California

OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign

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(609): View more from New Jersey

Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.

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(914): View more from New York

apparently the secret to your success is patron

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(613): View more from Ontario

One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.

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(281): View more from Texas

he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."

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(859): View more from Kentucky

We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.

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(615): View more from Tennessee

It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.

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