it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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