I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
