Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
