My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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