I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
