I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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