Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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