You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Randomize
