Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
