I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I think we might need a safe word for this...
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