I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
