sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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