I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
