sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
