u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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